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Monday, 14 March 2011

On aggregate

The insurance team at Moore Stephens has embarked on a round-up of alternative definitions of insurance terms. Here is its take on aggregate limits:

An aggregate limit is the total amount you can claim under your policy in respect of pieces of crushed stones used in the making of cement. This has given rise to the saying that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The only exceptions to this rule are kings, who should not stow thrones, subject to underwriters’ approval.

If you have an aggregate limit, you can have as many claims as you like during the course of the year, providing they don’t add up to more than your body mass index.

If you are insuring aggregates, beware the Pozzolanic reaction, which is caused by a mixture of slaked lime and pozzolan, and is typically found in Roman concrete of the type used to build the Parthenon, or possibly the Pantheon. For this reason, Free of Pozzolanic Average (FPA) clauses are typically found in aggregate policies.

The Pantheon was commissioned by Marcus Agrippa, who is second only to Euripides as the subject of lewd jokes involving Romans. When first built, the Pantheon faced south, but now it faces north. This may have happened when Hadrian rebuilt it with some bricks left over from his wall, or it may be a trick of the light.

Marcus Agrippa had a romantic relationship while watching television with Octavian’s sister, Octavia Minor, for which there is no historical evidence whatsoever.

Beware the Ides of March.


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